So, I had a blog post written and ready to go last week, and something (Someone?) told me to hold off on it. As I thought about it, I realized it was pretty “whiney”. I was having a little pity party for myself, which would have been pretty ironic to post right after my “Thankful” blog.
Why is it our mood so often swings back and forth? In one moment I can be filled with awe at God’s hand in my life, and then just days (sometimes hours) later feel despondent about relatively small problems. How can we have such seeming clarity to help others with their issues (or worse, become judgmental about what others can/should do about their problems), but answers to our own seem to allude us or appear insurmountable?
My mom is a worrier. It seems to be in her DNA to worry about all manner of things. Whether it be things she has control over or not, she worries about them. Whether they even impact her or not, she worries about them. I pray for my mom often. I pray for her health (as I believe the worry is wearing not only on her soul but on her body). I pray for her spirit (as her worry clouds her view of her world and she primarily sees what is wrong rather than what is right). How I pray that the mother of my youth would return – the woman who had people wait in line at the bank she worked at, just so they could go to her window. The mom who attended all of my gymnastic meets and enthusiastically clapped and cheered for me, and told those around her, “that’s my daughter.” (By the way, I wasn’t that great.) The aunt who joyfully sent birthday cards, holiday cards, congratulations cards, and all-occasion cards to her nieces and nephews for every occasion in their life…she always remembered, and even more, she cared so much for others’ happiness. Even back then, she worried about so many things, but it didn’t consume her thoughts and she seemed to enjoy life in spite of that. But today, I see her bitterness and resentfulness growing, which I believe is primarily a result of her worried spirit. When you are so focused on the negative, it’s hard to see through the darkness to the light. Oh how I pray for my beloved mom to find that light. And, candidly, I pray that I never allow that light to become dim in my own life. (I sometimes fear that I have that “worry DNA” from my mom…as it’s so easy for me to slip into the pity party and a sense of foreboding, as I mentioned above.)
Psalm 27:1 says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” 2 Samuel 22:29 says, “You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.” The Book of Isaiah is filled with references to the Lord being our Light, and that He will light our way. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”
But, it goes further than that. We are called by God to be His light. In Acts 13:47, Paul instructs, “For this is what the Lord has commanded us: 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.'" Ephesians 5:8 says, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.” Why? 5:9 says that “for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth.”
God’s Word and direction is always meant for our benefit. His commandments are not meant to restrict us but to set us free. Just as He told His people exiled in Babylon, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) He went on to say, “’You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (29:12-13)
Lord, I call upon you. I pray You will lead my mom back to the Light. I pray that you will remove from both her and I the spirit of worry, and may we focus on Your Word and follow Your commandment to “not worry” as You instruct us in Matthew 6. Lord, I seek Your will. I desire to follow the path You have set before me. May I always walk in the light of that path, rather than stumbling through the darkness to find my own way. Lord, You know the many decisions I have coming up. May I choose wisely based on Your guidance and leading in my heart. Lord, most of all, may I live out your commandments to be a light to others. Give me opportunities to do just that. May I use the gifts You have given me to serve others. Wherever my path (Your path) takes me, may I always take the time on that journey to be Your hands and feet along the way. I praise You Lord for the blessings you have so graciously given me. I praise You for the opportunities You have placed before me. All that I have, and all that is yet to come are Yours…may I always remember that and may the decisions in my life reflect that Thank you, Jesus, for Your perfect plans for me. Thank you, Jesus, for your love and care of my blogging friends, and I pray that You will light their path so brightly that their way is clear. I pray blessings on their lives, clarity for their decisions, and a spirit of joy and not worry each day.