It has been so long since I last posted. While life has progressed, it seems much has digressed as well. Maybe it's the summer months...which, especially when you have kids, becomes less structured and thus can be more chaotic.
My heart couldn’t be any more full and overflowing, but yet broken, for my family. Before I had children I had no idea I had so much capacity to love…and hurt. And as I try to come to terms with the situations that cause the love to overflow, and those that cause my heart to break, I often allow those “feelings” to get in the way. I want more times of happiness and less times of grief. And so I try to force the happiness. I make decisions and concessions I wouldn’t otherwise make…which only prolong the hurt.
I recently watched the movie “Pride”. It’s about an inner city swim team, and a coach who helps the youth…and the community they live in…believe in themselves. He doesn’t do that by telling the kids what they want to hear. He doesn’t do it by becoming their friend. Instead, he speaks truth in their life. And, in the movie, they listen.
I know life doesn’t always happen that way. Some of you, and myself, have spoken the truth to our children only to see them turn away and continue to take the wrong path. It’s at those times I find myself most vulnerable…most likely to compromise and chase after them. I turn my head to what’s wrong in their life so I can continue to walk alongside them. But, then, you will find your kids are still on that wrong road. And, instead of being prompted to turn the other way, I am enabling them to continue walking on it.
In the middle of the movie, I got it. I paused the movie and wrote it down. “Speak Truth.” And then I wrote, “Earn the Respect.” Being my kids’ friend may give me moments of peace and even of happiness, but I believe if I focus on the friendship, rather than on the truth…which really is love…the end of that road will end in sorrow.
I often accuse my husband of being too hard on our oldest son. I feel he is driving him away. From my point of view, he appears harsh, unforgiving and angry about our son’s behavior and his mistakes. Honestly, he has a right to be angry. The trouble our son has found himself in is destructive, expensive, and has turned our life upside down. I know my husband loves our son…I just don’t think he knows how to show it without seemingly condoning the behavior he abhors. On the other hand, my husband accuses me of being too easy on our son. He feels I don’t hold him accountable and that my leniency gives him license to misbehave. In fact, he probably believes I love our son more than I love him, as I often take an opposing view and “stand up” for our son. I think we are both right. I think my husband drives him away, and then I widen the chasm by trying to be the peacemaker and not just forgiving but overlooking our son’s mistakes. At the same time, this creates a valley in our marriage relationship. Honestly, it’s not just our son that is creating strife in our household…it’s us…and it’s me.
As I traverse through life, and struggle to find my way on unmarked paths, I have made so many wrong turns. It is only when I look up, instead of on the path, that I find my way again. I get so wrapped up in the scenery alongside the road (beautiful and ugly) that I miss the Light above that is there to guide me. When I do that, I find myself in darkness…devoid of light not only around me, but in me. But there is always a way out…a path to the sunshine…a path to the Son.
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” – Psalm 139:1-12
Yes, such knowledge is too wonderful. And even in darkness there is Light. As I focus on that, may I speak in truth, knowing that the Lord is beside me…and understanding that the Lord is equally beside my son and my husband. It is up to me to be the peacemaker…but not in the way I have been up until now. I can bring peace and happiness to my soul in spite of all circumstances. And maybe as I speak the truth, others will listen. Or perhaps it will plant a seed. Even so, the truth might be for those who look in our lives from the outside. If nothing else, the truth shall set me free.
”Jesus, be my truth. May You give me the strength, courage, and wisdom to speak Your truth in love. Keep my eyes upon You, and my feet on Your path. Illuminate my way. And as I walk in that Light instead of chasing others or becoming distracted by what I see on the way, may those I love turn and join me. In Your name I pray. Amen.”
Monday, August 6, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Where is Your Focus?
What a week... Have you ever had a breakthrough, or an “aha” moment, or made a decision you felt really good about, only to then be tested, challenged, or thrown a curve ball that takes you off track from where you thought you were going? A couple of weeks ago I was feeling really good about the direction I was going, the goals I set for my life, and I felt confident I was moving in the right direction. Then, almost immediately thereafter, along comes the test. It’s as if my resolve, my strength, and my inward joy are being called into question. I feel in my heart the questions are being asked, “Did I really mean what I said in my April 23 blog? Do I actually thank God for my trials?”
First, we had a really tough interview with a Case Manager for my son. This person was condescending, judgmental, and even disparaging toward my son, my husband and I. She questioned my husband’s motives for leaving the workforce to be a stay-at-home dad. She expressed her distaste for our decision to homeschool our son. And she basically tore down my son to the point he stopped talking to her. I have never been through an experience as demeaning and hurtful as this one. I do praise God we should never have to deal with her again.
This has also been a tough week in terms of getting enough sleep. Between late-night meetings at work, getting my youngest to school in the morning, baseball tournaments that start at the crack of dawn on weekends, and lesson planning for homeschooling, my energy is waning. And my time with God has been the first to go, which then compounds my feeling of being drained.
Sorrowfully, we’ve learned that my mother-in-law has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and it seems to be progressing quickly. My grandmother also had Alzheimer’s, and it truly is a devastating disease. Once a vibrant, witty, full-of-life woman, my grandma became disoriented, confused, forgetful (to the point of not knowing her family), and eventually lost her speech. My husband’s sister is the only child living in the same town as their mom, and she is feeling overwhelmed and frightened. She has three children of her own, and starts a new job in June. Finances are tight, and while we can help somewhat with that, I know from experience how important emotional support (and a break / escape from the situation) can be. She is in my prayers daily.
And now, there are mounting problems at my place of employment. The team of people I am responsible for are starting to develop unhealthy “cliques”. A key member of the team unexpectedly resigned in the midst of a critical project he was responsible for. There is an accountability issue with yet another team member. I am feeling discouraged with the recent backward progress. (Those two terms don’t belong together, do they? It’s pretty much an oxymoron to have “backward progress”.)
Of course, we are still walking a long road facing the realities of my oldest son’s troubles. Between court dates, meetings with investigators, case managers, counselors, attorney’s fees, and restitution to be paid (not to mention missed days of work, my husband dropping out of school to homeschool him, the loss of friends my son has experienced, and all the other things I’ve already relayed in the past), it can be daunting to think of what all the future holds.
So, I have to ponder, am I allowing others to steal my joy? Who am I expecting to fill my emotional needs? I am again reminded that it is through the difficult situations in our lives that we grow the most, learn the most-lasting lessons, and become the most reliant upon the Lord. In all of my 39 years, I have never identified more with the saying, “I know God won’t give me more than I can handle; I just wish He didn’t have so much confidence in me.” However, I’ve realized it is when I take my eyes off Him that doubts, fear and frustration rise up in me. It turns out I am not only dodging the curve balls, but have actually started throwing them in my own life. By not keeping my eyes, heart and mind focused on the Prince of Peace, Mighty Counselor, and Savior, they become focused on the muck and mire of the world.
How do we do this practically? I mean, it’s nice to say and all, but how do we stay focused on the Lord rather than our circumstances? Trust me, I’m not an expert, or I wouldn’t need to keep coming back to this place. But when I recognize I’m getting off track, there are some things that help redirect my path. The Bible makes no secret of these things; all we have to do is follow them. And thankfully they are not hard, but they do require dedication, time, and effort. Once you’re in the habit, however, you’ll find the effort and emphasis you placed on lamenting over your troubles were actually harder.
1. I said it my last post, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV). And, I really mean “without ceasing”. Keep the music off in the car, and pray as you drive. Post sticky notes around your house if necessary to remind you to pray, or to remind you of scripture verses so you can focus your mind on them and pray by reciting scripture. Pick up a book by Stormie Martin, who has written numerous books with practical prayers for you as a mom, woman, wife, etc. Start your day in prayer, before you get out bed (i.e., between the times you’re pushing the snooze button), and end your day in prayer. Spend time journaling your prayers (and then be sure to record the answers!). Before having a conversation with another, before picking up a ringing phone, and before walking in the door after a hard day’s work (or before your husband does), pray that your words would be a blessing, uplifting, truth spoken in love, or whatever the situation may call for. Train yourself to pray continually, and you will find yourself doing it even without prompting.
2. Probably the most common exhortation you receive from your pastor, from Christian writers, and from many other sources is to stay in the Word of God. The Reverend Billy Graham says that he leaves his Bible open somewhere in his home or office (or wherever he is traveling), so that he will come across it during the day. He then takes the opportunity to read a verse, or a chapter (or more) as he comes across the Bible. What a great idea! And, how many of us have more than one Bible, so we can leave them open in different areas of the house?! (Thanks to Jerry B. Jenkins for this tidbit about Rev. Billy Graham.)
The Bible is such a terrific “instruction book” for life. As it says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105 NIV). So often I will come across scripture that ministers to my soul in a way that speaks directly to my current situation. I know that this is one of those ways that God “speaks to me”. And, the more I am in the Word, the more I learn and the more encouraged I become. So, while you’ve heard it before, it bears repeating: Study the scriptures!
“The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing in the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.” (Psalm 19:7-8)
3. By serving and ministering to others, you keep your focus off yourself and on others. It truly is “more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). This doesn’t have to be elaborate…you can make a difference even by emailing a quick note to a hurting or concerned friend, penning a letter to let someone know you are thinking of them or praying for them, or sending a greeting card that contains a poignant verse. In return, I have been so uplifted by responses to emails I’ve sent (or comments I’ve made on blogs). Sometimes I wonder if the responses I receive have more impact on me than the original recipient of my writings. Serving and ministering can also be done very practically through volunteerism (whether at your church, local food pantry or at a homeless shelter). One thing I would caution here is to ensure you are serving within your gifts. For example, don’t sign up to help with the children’s ministry unless you love being around kids and are blessed with a good dose of patience. Also, charities have many different needs for which you can volunteer your time. If you don’t feel working directly with people is one of your gifts, find out if your local soup kitchen needs administrative / office work done, or if they could use your help with fundraising (if those are your gifts instead).
Bottom line is that it always helps me to put into perspective my situation when I read and/or respond to the struggles of others. As it says in Proverbs 16:3 (NKJV), “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Plus, what a joy it is to serve God in ways that he himself served (a kind word to someone hurting, feeding the hungry, etc.).
4. Finally, I encourage you to consciously remember your blessings. Do this is a very real way, such as writing them down in a praise journal or verbally thanking God for them during your prayer time. If you have trouble, read through the Psalms, and you will see the many different ways and times David praised the Lord, in spite of his troubles and persecution by Saul. By focusing on your blessings, the Lord has an opportunity to give you peace and joy that surpasses all understanding. “Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart” (Psalm 97:11).
It seems fitting here to list just some of the blessings I have experienced in the midst of my turmoil recounted above.
If you have actually read through this entire blog (what a marathon!), I would love to hear about the methods that work for you in keeping focused on God, especially when faced with pain, anguish or confusion. Thanks, and may God pour His richest blessings out on your life, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.
First, we had a really tough interview with a Case Manager for my son. This person was condescending, judgmental, and even disparaging toward my son, my husband and I. She questioned my husband’s motives for leaving the workforce to be a stay-at-home dad. She expressed her distaste for our decision to homeschool our son. And she basically tore down my son to the point he stopped talking to her. I have never been through an experience as demeaning and hurtful as this one. I do praise God we should never have to deal with her again.
This has also been a tough week in terms of getting enough sleep. Between late-night meetings at work, getting my youngest to school in the morning, baseball tournaments that start at the crack of dawn on weekends, and lesson planning for homeschooling, my energy is waning. And my time with God has been the first to go, which then compounds my feeling of being drained.
Sorrowfully, we’ve learned that my mother-in-law has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and it seems to be progressing quickly. My grandmother also had Alzheimer’s, and it truly is a devastating disease. Once a vibrant, witty, full-of-life woman, my grandma became disoriented, confused, forgetful (to the point of not knowing her family), and eventually lost her speech. My husband’s sister is the only child living in the same town as their mom, and she is feeling overwhelmed and frightened. She has three children of her own, and starts a new job in June. Finances are tight, and while we can help somewhat with that, I know from experience how important emotional support (and a break / escape from the situation) can be. She is in my prayers daily.
And now, there are mounting problems at my place of employment. The team of people I am responsible for are starting to develop unhealthy “cliques”. A key member of the team unexpectedly resigned in the midst of a critical project he was responsible for. There is an accountability issue with yet another team member. I am feeling discouraged with the recent backward progress. (Those two terms don’t belong together, do they? It’s pretty much an oxymoron to have “backward progress”.)
Of course, we are still walking a long road facing the realities of my oldest son’s troubles. Between court dates, meetings with investigators, case managers, counselors, attorney’s fees, and restitution to be paid (not to mention missed days of work, my husband dropping out of school to homeschool him, the loss of friends my son has experienced, and all the other things I’ve already relayed in the past), it can be daunting to think of what all the future holds.
So, I have to ponder, am I allowing others to steal my joy? Who am I expecting to fill my emotional needs? I am again reminded that it is through the difficult situations in our lives that we grow the most, learn the most-lasting lessons, and become the most reliant upon the Lord. In all of my 39 years, I have never identified more with the saying, “I know God won’t give me more than I can handle; I just wish He didn’t have so much confidence in me.” However, I’ve realized it is when I take my eyes off Him that doubts, fear and frustration rise up in me. It turns out I am not only dodging the curve balls, but have actually started throwing them in my own life. By not keeping my eyes, heart and mind focused on the Prince of Peace, Mighty Counselor, and Savior, they become focused on the muck and mire of the world.
How do we do this practically? I mean, it’s nice to say and all, but how do we stay focused on the Lord rather than our circumstances? Trust me, I’m not an expert, or I wouldn’t need to keep coming back to this place. But when I recognize I’m getting off track, there are some things that help redirect my path. The Bible makes no secret of these things; all we have to do is follow them. And thankfully they are not hard, but they do require dedication, time, and effort. Once you’re in the habit, however, you’ll find the effort and emphasis you placed on lamenting over your troubles were actually harder.
1. I said it my last post, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV). And, I really mean “without ceasing”. Keep the music off in the car, and pray as you drive. Post sticky notes around your house if necessary to remind you to pray, or to remind you of scripture verses so you can focus your mind on them and pray by reciting scripture. Pick up a book by Stormie Martin, who has written numerous books with practical prayers for you as a mom, woman, wife, etc. Start your day in prayer, before you get out bed (i.e., between the times you’re pushing the snooze button), and end your day in prayer. Spend time journaling your prayers (and then be sure to record the answers!). Before having a conversation with another, before picking up a ringing phone, and before walking in the door after a hard day’s work (or before your husband does), pray that your words would be a blessing, uplifting, truth spoken in love, or whatever the situation may call for. Train yourself to pray continually, and you will find yourself doing it even without prompting.
2. Probably the most common exhortation you receive from your pastor, from Christian writers, and from many other sources is to stay in the Word of God. The Reverend Billy Graham says that he leaves his Bible open somewhere in his home or office (or wherever he is traveling), so that he will come across it during the day. He then takes the opportunity to read a verse, or a chapter (or more) as he comes across the Bible. What a great idea! And, how many of us have more than one Bible, so we can leave them open in different areas of the house?! (Thanks to Jerry B. Jenkins for this tidbit about Rev. Billy Graham.)
The Bible is such a terrific “instruction book” for life. As it says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105 NIV). So often I will come across scripture that ministers to my soul in a way that speaks directly to my current situation. I know that this is one of those ways that God “speaks to me”. And, the more I am in the Word, the more I learn and the more encouraged I become. So, while you’ve heard it before, it bears repeating: Study the scriptures!
“The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing in the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.” (Psalm 19:7-8)
3. By serving and ministering to others, you keep your focus off yourself and on others. It truly is “more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). This doesn’t have to be elaborate…you can make a difference even by emailing a quick note to a hurting or concerned friend, penning a letter to let someone know you are thinking of them or praying for them, or sending a greeting card that contains a poignant verse. In return, I have been so uplifted by responses to emails I’ve sent (or comments I’ve made on blogs). Sometimes I wonder if the responses I receive have more impact on me than the original recipient of my writings. Serving and ministering can also be done very practically through volunteerism (whether at your church, local food pantry or at a homeless shelter). One thing I would caution here is to ensure you are serving within your gifts. For example, don’t sign up to help with the children’s ministry unless you love being around kids and are blessed with a good dose of patience. Also, charities have many different needs for which you can volunteer your time. If you don’t feel working directly with people is one of your gifts, find out if your local soup kitchen needs administrative / office work done, or if they could use your help with fundraising (if those are your gifts instead).
Bottom line is that it always helps me to put into perspective my situation when I read and/or respond to the struggles of others. As it says in Proverbs 16:3 (NKJV), “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Plus, what a joy it is to serve God in ways that he himself served (a kind word to someone hurting, feeding the hungry, etc.).
4. Finally, I encourage you to consciously remember your blessings. Do this is a very real way, such as writing them down in a praise journal or verbally thanking God for them during your prayer time. If you have trouble, read through the Psalms, and you will see the many different ways and times David praised the Lord, in spite of his troubles and persecution by Saul. By focusing on your blessings, the Lord has an opportunity to give you peace and joy that surpasses all understanding. “Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart” (Psalm 97:11).
It seems fitting here to list just some of the blessings I have experienced in the midst of my turmoil recounted above.
- At the end of a tumultuous meeting, my son’s Case Manager referred him into a juvenile program that will eventually clear his name and record, assuming he completes it successfully. (And, you can imagine we will be praying hard for that.)
- In the midst of a lack of sleep, I have spent some quality (and quantity) time with my family. Also, the late-night meetings at work produced a well-received presentation that provided a source of pride and accomplishment for my team.
- My mother-in-law’s diagnosis gives us a very really opportunity to serve, both her and her daughter. It also seems to have drawn my husband much closer to his mom than he has been for many years.
- I am supported by those I report to in how I address the challenges with my team at work. I work directly for a terrific Christian woman who is compassionate and encouraging, and who can always be counted on to provide wise counsel.
- My husband’s and my relationship with our oldest son is stronger now than it has been at any time in the past year. Our homeschooling has brought us closer to him, and provides more one-on-one time with him than we have ever experienced before. Also, we now live life with eyes wide open to the challenges and dangers of his adolescence. We truly do feel everything that has happened is a blessing in disguise, as we are more aware of what our son is experiencing, how he is living his life, and who his friends are.
If you have actually read through this entire blog (what a marathon!), I would love to hear about the methods that work for you in keeping focused on God, especially when faced with pain, anguish or confusion. Thanks, and may God pour His richest blessings out on your life, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Beauty from Ashes
It is never too late, and there is no one beyond hope. Have you ever had a friend or family member who you thought would be “the last one” to ever receive Christ as their Savior? My sister is one of those people. She is 11 years my senior, and has lived quite a life. As a rebellious youth, she brought much grief and strife into our household. She lived a promiscuous life, and developed a devastating drug and alcohol addiction. She had a baby at 16, later became a biker (taking off on her Harley even with three young kids at home), spent several months in a woman’s prison, and at one point ended up in a mental institution, where she was finally diagnosed as bipolar in her mid-40s. The doctors believe she has been self-medicating for years through the drugs and alcohol.
In the midst of her tumultuous life, my sister decided at some point there was no God…and even if there was a possibility He existed, He certainly did not care about her. Much of that stemmed from an abusive relative and a pastor who recommended an abortion when she ended up pregnant at 14. Sadly, that advice was followed, and my sister lived with the guilt, shame and grief over that decision for many, many years.
I prayed for my sister, sent her cards, bought her a Bible a time or two, and then, when she was almost 50 years old, had the glorious honor of leading her to Christ one night over the phone a couple of years ago. Tonight, I just got off the phone with her, and had to weep over the radical transformation in her life. Oh, she has had her ups and downs and her slips and falls in the last couple of years. Decades of substance abuse have taken a severe toll on her body, and she is in very poor health. At times, she has slipped back into old patterns, particularly when she runs out of her medication or neglects to take it. But today was a good day. To hear the peace in her voice and her love for the Lord is overwhelming. Tonight she talked about her passion for gardening and how it brings her closer to the Lord. To hear her say, “Jesus is my best friend…He spends time with me in my garden and is all I need” brought me to tears. It is remarkable how God can take such a broken life, one filled with heartache, disappointment, cynicism and despair, and make it beautiful, full of hope, and brimming with joy. I praise God for His faithfulness to my sister. He never gave up on her, in spite of her giving up on Him so many years ago. He continued to seek after her, and she has now found in Him new life. Her body remains broken, but her heart is whole.
As I think about my sister’s life, and I compare that with those whose bodies are whole but whose hearts have a hole only God can fill, I realize that she is truly the one who is blessed. While I wish she wouldn’t have gone through such pain to come to where she is today, it really does show just how great God is. He gives up on no one, and He will leave the 99 to rescue the one who has strayed (Luke 15:3-7). I do not have the words to express how in awe I am of the grace of the Lord. And it gives me great hope for those in my family who have yet to experience the saving, and freeing, love of Jesus Christ. I regularly pray for them, and write their names in my prayer journal with the expectation that on a future page I will be listing them under “answers to prayer”.
I urge you to never stop praying for your family and friends. The Lord who can be born of a virgin, walk on water, and raise the dead (including Himself), can most certainly find the most lost of sheep. As the apostle Paul exhorted the Thessalonians, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thes 5:17 NKJV).
Please let me know if I can join you in prayer for one of your family members.
In the midst of her tumultuous life, my sister decided at some point there was no God…and even if there was a possibility He existed, He certainly did not care about her. Much of that stemmed from an abusive relative and a pastor who recommended an abortion when she ended up pregnant at 14. Sadly, that advice was followed, and my sister lived with the guilt, shame and grief over that decision for many, many years.
I prayed for my sister, sent her cards, bought her a Bible a time or two, and then, when she was almost 50 years old, had the glorious honor of leading her to Christ one night over the phone a couple of years ago. Tonight, I just got off the phone with her, and had to weep over the radical transformation in her life. Oh, she has had her ups and downs and her slips and falls in the last couple of years. Decades of substance abuse have taken a severe toll on her body, and she is in very poor health. At times, she has slipped back into old patterns, particularly when she runs out of her medication or neglects to take it. But today was a good day. To hear the peace in her voice and her love for the Lord is overwhelming. Tonight she talked about her passion for gardening and how it brings her closer to the Lord. To hear her say, “Jesus is my best friend…He spends time with me in my garden and is all I need” brought me to tears. It is remarkable how God can take such a broken life, one filled with heartache, disappointment, cynicism and despair, and make it beautiful, full of hope, and brimming with joy. I praise God for His faithfulness to my sister. He never gave up on her, in spite of her giving up on Him so many years ago. He continued to seek after her, and she has now found in Him new life. Her body remains broken, but her heart is whole.
As I think about my sister’s life, and I compare that with those whose bodies are whole but whose hearts have a hole only God can fill, I realize that she is truly the one who is blessed. While I wish she wouldn’t have gone through such pain to come to where she is today, it really does show just how great God is. He gives up on no one, and He will leave the 99 to rescue the one who has strayed (Luke 15:3-7). I do not have the words to express how in awe I am of the grace of the Lord. And it gives me great hope for those in my family who have yet to experience the saving, and freeing, love of Jesus Christ. I regularly pray for them, and write their names in my prayer journal with the expectation that on a future page I will be listing them under “answers to prayer”.
I urge you to never stop praying for your family and friends. The Lord who can be born of a virgin, walk on water, and raise the dead (including Himself), can most certainly find the most lost of sheep. As the apostle Paul exhorted the Thessalonians, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thes 5:17 NKJV).
Please let me know if I can join you in prayer for one of your family members.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Counting My Blessings
“Lord, I praise you for who You are – the Great I Am, Master, Father, King of Kings, Counselor, Redeemer, and Prince of Peace. I praise You for being faithful, loving, sacrificial, holy, almighty, wise, and the lover of my soul. Lord, I thank You for my blessings: I thank You for a husband who supports me, loves our children, and who has taught me more about sacrifice than any other person on earth. I thank You for my beautiful, healthy boys. I thank You for trusting me with them and for giving me instruction in Your Word on how to be a Godly parent. (I also ask Your forgiveness for having to remind me of Your truths and guidance as a parent time and time again.)
I also thank You for the trials in my life, for You so clearly show Your power within the midst of them. You have drawn me closer to You as I walk through the valley. You give me purpose and redefine my priorities through these trials. And, I believe You are giving me a ministry by what I learn through them.
Lord, no matter what happens in my life, you remain the same today, yesterday and forever. I can count on You – Your faithfulness, Your love, Your peace and even Your joy in the midst of turmoil. Who is like You, oh Lord? Where else can I find such unfathomable comfort and hope, even with uncertainty all around me? Lord, continue to use my trials to mold me into a vessel you can use to speak and work through. May the fire continue to refine me. May I reach others for You and show them Your glory and power as I live a life of beauty out of ashes.
You, Lord, are my Rock. There is no other explanation for the amazing joy, comfort and peace I feel as I stand firm among the crashing waves. Thank you, Jesus.”
I feel like I have grown so much over the past week. God is so amazing. There is no one else who can change a life and give a life meaning like He can. More has happened in one week that has changed my perspective than probably all of the past year. (1) Our son’s court date went as well as could be expected – better in fact – as we received even more than we asked for in changing the terms of his current bond. (2) Then on Friday night I had the opportunity to hear Jerry B. Jenkins speak, and I was moved and inspired as he spoke about working with Billy Graham on his memoirs and also about writing in general. (I purchased his book Writing for the Soul and can’t wait to read and apply it.) (3) Coincidentally (or, I like to think of it as a “God-incident”), the next day I happened to listen to an audio tape from Thrive Today that talked about purpose and vision, and how it needs to transcend all areas of your life (in your career, with your family, and all other responsibilities and activities), and as a result I simplified my ultimate purpose into a mission statement that energizes and excites me. (As you might have guessed, writing is part of it.) (4) This past week I was also able to let go of bitterness I was feeling toward my son’s school, as I realized those who acted inappropriately don’t “define” what the school stands for. And, I will continue to choose to forgive those involved until I feel it. (5) Finally, as I homeschooled my son today, I realized how much I enjoy and look forward to spending every Monday with him. What precious time God has given me with my son, despite an overwhelming work schedule. When he was in traditional school, I was able to spend very little time with him as I worked long hours Tuesday through Saturday, and even some Sundays and Mondays. Sunday has become a little challenging as the lesson planning literally consumes hours of my time, but the Monday payoff is worth it. Now, I am challenging myself to find a way to spend quality time with my youngest son. He loves playing games, so I am thinking that a regular game night (or two) would be the answer.
The world says that there is a silver lining in every cloud. The Bible says close to the same thing, but a little differently – “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)” Also, “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God and who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)” I pray you will find these truths evident in your life today. If you cannot see the blessings of the Lord, I encourage you to delve into His Word, pray for your eyes to be opened, praise Him in love for who He is (regardless of whether you currently see Him in action or not), and then silently wait for His answer. I believe He will reveal His blessings to you in the most unexpected ways, as you faithfully seek Him and wait upon Him.
I also thank You for the trials in my life, for You so clearly show Your power within the midst of them. You have drawn me closer to You as I walk through the valley. You give me purpose and redefine my priorities through these trials. And, I believe You are giving me a ministry by what I learn through them.
Lord, no matter what happens in my life, you remain the same today, yesterday and forever. I can count on You – Your faithfulness, Your love, Your peace and even Your joy in the midst of turmoil. Who is like You, oh Lord? Where else can I find such unfathomable comfort and hope, even with uncertainty all around me? Lord, continue to use my trials to mold me into a vessel you can use to speak and work through. May the fire continue to refine me. May I reach others for You and show them Your glory and power as I live a life of beauty out of ashes.
You, Lord, are my Rock. There is no other explanation for the amazing joy, comfort and peace I feel as I stand firm among the crashing waves. Thank you, Jesus.”
I feel like I have grown so much over the past week. God is so amazing. There is no one else who can change a life and give a life meaning like He can. More has happened in one week that has changed my perspective than probably all of the past year. (1) Our son’s court date went as well as could be expected – better in fact – as we received even more than we asked for in changing the terms of his current bond. (2) Then on Friday night I had the opportunity to hear Jerry B. Jenkins speak, and I was moved and inspired as he spoke about working with Billy Graham on his memoirs and also about writing in general. (I purchased his book Writing for the Soul and can’t wait to read and apply it.) (3) Coincidentally (or, I like to think of it as a “God-incident”), the next day I happened to listen to an audio tape from Thrive Today that talked about purpose and vision, and how it needs to transcend all areas of your life (in your career, with your family, and all other responsibilities and activities), and as a result I simplified my ultimate purpose into a mission statement that energizes and excites me. (As you might have guessed, writing is part of it.) (4) This past week I was also able to let go of bitterness I was feeling toward my son’s school, as I realized those who acted inappropriately don’t “define” what the school stands for. And, I will continue to choose to forgive those involved until I feel it. (5) Finally, as I homeschooled my son today, I realized how much I enjoy and look forward to spending every Monday with him. What precious time God has given me with my son, despite an overwhelming work schedule. When he was in traditional school, I was able to spend very little time with him as I worked long hours Tuesday through Saturday, and even some Sundays and Mondays. Sunday has become a little challenging as the lesson planning literally consumes hours of my time, but the Monday payoff is worth it. Now, I am challenging myself to find a way to spend quality time with my youngest son. He loves playing games, so I am thinking that a regular game night (or two) would be the answer.
The world says that there is a silver lining in every cloud. The Bible says close to the same thing, but a little differently – “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (James 1:12)” Also, “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God and who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)” I pray you will find these truths evident in your life today. If you cannot see the blessings of the Lord, I encourage you to delve into His Word, pray for your eyes to be opened, praise Him in love for who He is (regardless of whether you currently see Him in action or not), and then silently wait for His answer. I believe He will reveal His blessings to you in the most unexpected ways, as you faithfully seek Him and wait upon Him.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
You can handle the heat...
If you grew up in Sunday school, you undoubtedly know of the story of King Nebuchadnezzar and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The king had built a gold idol ninety feet high and nine feet wide and he ordered all to fall down and worship it or be killed. The consequence for disobedience was being thrown into a blazing furnace.
It was brought to the king’s attention that three Jews refused to worship the idol. After giving them a second chance to bow down, which was soundly rejected, Nebuchadnezzar was furious, heated the furnace seven times hotter than normal, and ordered the three men to be bound and tossed in. The soldiers charged with carrying out the order died from the intense heat of the furnace as they threw in the three men. What had made the king so angry? It was their refusal to follow his orders, instead trusting and believing in God as the ultimate authority and the only one worthy of our praise (1 Chronicles 16:25). In fact, they said to the king, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18)
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had an incredible faith. Not just that they would be delivered from certain death in a fiery furnace, but even if they were not, they would stand firm in faith on God’s word. WOW! Their faith was not contingent on what God could do for them, or even what He had already done, but it was based on what they could do for God, and what He was capable of doing (whether or not He did it). How often do we lose sight of what God is capable of and what we are called to do for Him? When deliverance isn’t certain, and even when it doesn’t come, that doesn’t change who God is. It doesn’t change the truth of His word. God is so much bigger than the reality of our world.
Another interesting part of the story is how apparently Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were among the minority (if not the only ones) who refused to bow down to Nebuchadnezzar’s idol. The Bible says that “all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold” (Daniel 3:7), but some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews, saying, “But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:12) These three men stood alone, in spite of the fact that “everyone else is doing it”. How often do our kids do the “popular” thing or are afraid at being singled out or ridiculed for being different than the crowd…even when the crowd is wrong? (How often do we?)
It is the eve of a court date for my son. In some ways, I feel as if I’m standing at the opening to the fiery furnace. And I know it doesn’t end tomorrow, as there is still a long road ahead regardless of the outcome of the proceedings. Even more, I fear for my son who figuratively stands at the same opening. And I don’t have the power to pull him to safety.
Will I chose to cling to my faith in spite of the heat? I will…because I know even if I end up in the furnace, the Lord will be there with me. And I’d rather be in the furnace with the Lord than anywhere without Him. That would be the true definition of hopelessness.
I also wonder if both of my sons will walk the road less traveled and stand firm for what is right and true? Or will either of them follow the crowd, living for the moment rather than for God, and worshipping idols? Oh, I don’t mean ninety-foot high statues of gold, but the idols of today such as popularity, fame, money, and other treasures on earth. The Lord has called us to “store up for ourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also." (Matthew 6:20)
I pray that my boys will find real treasure here on earth, not the man-made kind. I pray that they will put their faith in the treasures of heaven, and that the Lord will keep them from the fiery furnace. But even if they end up there, may the Lord walk with them through it, and may all who see what’s happened proclaim, “Praise be to the God of [these boys]… How great are His signs, how mighty His wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation." (Daniel 3:28, 4:4) I pray that for your children as well, and I encourage you that if you’d like for prayer by name, please respond with a comment, and I will add your child to my prayer journal.
Warm blessings to you and your family.
It was brought to the king’s attention that three Jews refused to worship the idol. After giving them a second chance to bow down, which was soundly rejected, Nebuchadnezzar was furious, heated the furnace seven times hotter than normal, and ordered the three men to be bound and tossed in. The soldiers charged with carrying out the order died from the intense heat of the furnace as they threw in the three men. What had made the king so angry? It was their refusal to follow his orders, instead trusting and believing in God as the ultimate authority and the only one worthy of our praise (1 Chronicles 16:25). In fact, they said to the king, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18)
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had an incredible faith. Not just that they would be delivered from certain death in a fiery furnace, but even if they were not, they would stand firm in faith on God’s word. WOW! Their faith was not contingent on what God could do for them, or even what He had already done, but it was based on what they could do for God, and what He was capable of doing (whether or not He did it). How often do we lose sight of what God is capable of and what we are called to do for Him? When deliverance isn’t certain, and even when it doesn’t come, that doesn’t change who God is. It doesn’t change the truth of His word. God is so much bigger than the reality of our world.
Another interesting part of the story is how apparently Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were among the minority (if not the only ones) who refused to bow down to Nebuchadnezzar’s idol. The Bible says that “all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold” (Daniel 3:7), but some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews, saying, “But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:12) These three men stood alone, in spite of the fact that “everyone else is doing it”. How often do our kids do the “popular” thing or are afraid at being singled out or ridiculed for being different than the crowd…even when the crowd is wrong? (How often do we?)
It is the eve of a court date for my son. In some ways, I feel as if I’m standing at the opening to the fiery furnace. And I know it doesn’t end tomorrow, as there is still a long road ahead regardless of the outcome of the proceedings. Even more, I fear for my son who figuratively stands at the same opening. And I don’t have the power to pull him to safety.
Will I chose to cling to my faith in spite of the heat? I will…because I know even if I end up in the furnace, the Lord will be there with me. And I’d rather be in the furnace with the Lord than anywhere without Him. That would be the true definition of hopelessness.
I also wonder if both of my sons will walk the road less traveled and stand firm for what is right and true? Or will either of them follow the crowd, living for the moment rather than for God, and worshipping idols? Oh, I don’t mean ninety-foot high statues of gold, but the idols of today such as popularity, fame, money, and other treasures on earth. The Lord has called us to “store up for ourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also." (Matthew 6:20)
I pray that my boys will find real treasure here on earth, not the man-made kind. I pray that they will put their faith in the treasures of heaven, and that the Lord will keep them from the fiery furnace. But even if they end up there, may the Lord walk with them through it, and may all who see what’s happened proclaim, “Praise be to the God of [these boys]… How great are His signs, how mighty His wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation." (Daniel 3:28, 4:4) I pray that for your children as well, and I encourage you that if you’d like for prayer by name, please respond with a comment, and I will add your child to my prayer journal.
Warm blessings to you and your family.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Judge Not
I am not a perfect Christian. In fact, that would be an oxymoron, for what then would be the need for Jesus’ saving grace? What would be the point of mercy? So why is it that Christians can be the most judgmental toward other Christians? Why do they seem to be sometimes the most unforgiving? Of all people, Christians should know what God expects of us…after all, we carry the name of His Son!
“Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1 NKJV)
“Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37 NLT)
“Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick…For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’" (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV)
My heart has been chipped away, if not downright broken, at some of the situations we have faced as parents of a child in trouble. Parents of his friends have forbid their children to spend time with our son, and while I understand their decision and their concerns, what I cannot understand is what they say to their children…”He’s a bad kid…We don’t want you near him…He’s the not the kind of person we want you spending time with.” Don’t people know their children almost always tell their friends what their parents say? Do they care? Would they care if they knew how these words have hurt my son and created more self doubt and despondency?
My son’s former Christian school has said and done things that are downright unbiblical. I understand their decision to disenroll him (and his four friends), but ways in which they treated these boys and information that has been shared with others are contrary to how Christ has told us to live and act.
Lest your mind take you to the extreme, I want you to know that my son and these friends have not caused physical harm, and their actions have not resulted in any irreparable damage. Out of respect and love for them, I desire to tread lightly in this “public forum” because it’s not my intent to dwell on what’s happened, but what we can learn from it. With my son, I don’t go back over the events that led us here, and I don’t need to remind him of his very real consequences – they impact his daily life already – but what I do strive for is that he knows none of this changes my love for him and my acceptance of him. Oh how I wish I could shield him from those who have chosen not to love and accept him. Or those that say they care for him but cast him into the “leper colony” of life (seemingly saying, “we love you, but only at a distance”). But Christ said to the apostles, “…Preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. (Matthew 10:7 NIV)” Jesus didn’t hang out with the religious leaders of the day, he hung out at the homes of tax collectors, lepers and sinners.
I guess if I were really honest, I would have to say that I can be pretty judgmental myself…especially before entering this season of my family’s life. And, I guess I am being judgmental even now as I write this and consider those who disparage my son. However, I have come to learn that things are not always as they seem. What we may characterize as “bad” or “ugly” or “undesirable”, Jesus may characterize as “lost” or “hurting” or “in need of grace”. I have come to a place where I pray daily, often minute-by-minute, for my lost child, and others like him. But I know that the Lord does not want any to perish, but all to come to repentance. And He will rejoice with me when my “prodigal” son “comes home”. Indeed, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over the righteous who do not need to repent (Luke 15:7).
I have often prayed for God to break my heart with the things that break His. I had no idea what the answer to that prayer would be. I would not have chosen this situation to be what “broke my heart”, and it has been difficult for my husband and I to come to terms with it, but it has drawn me closer to God. It has further softened my heart toward my son, especially when he’s being “difficult”. It has pointed out where I have been prideful and even arrogant. It has led me to examine my life to see if it’s truly in line with God’s will (and I am finding where it is not). It has pointed out the weaknesses in our family as it has magnified the stress fractures that threaten to crack us wide open. It gives me an opportunity to Rock-bolt things back in place (with Christ, the Rock). It has also given me a new perspective for other not-perfect Christians and non-Christians alike. I will embrace this situation, and I will continue to learn from it. And God will use it for good, as He said He would. I pray He uses it to speak to others as well…
Oh, and it would be completely unfair and wrong of me to say all this and then neglect to mention how many others have come alongside our family and my son and shown us love and grace and concern. My church family at Red Rocks Church, my sister-in-law, our parents, my direct supervisor, our counselor, and others have been so gracious and good to us. They have been Christ’s hands and feet in this situation. If any of you are reading this…thank you, and we love you!
“Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1 NKJV)
“Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37 NLT)
“Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick…For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’" (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV)
My heart has been chipped away, if not downright broken, at some of the situations we have faced as parents of a child in trouble. Parents of his friends have forbid their children to spend time with our son, and while I understand their decision and their concerns, what I cannot understand is what they say to their children…”He’s a bad kid…We don’t want you near him…He’s the not the kind of person we want you spending time with.” Don’t people know their children almost always tell their friends what their parents say? Do they care? Would they care if they knew how these words have hurt my son and created more self doubt and despondency?
My son’s former Christian school has said and done things that are downright unbiblical. I understand their decision to disenroll him (and his four friends), but ways in which they treated these boys and information that has been shared with others are contrary to how Christ has told us to live and act.
Lest your mind take you to the extreme, I want you to know that my son and these friends have not caused physical harm, and their actions have not resulted in any irreparable damage. Out of respect and love for them, I desire to tread lightly in this “public forum” because it’s not my intent to dwell on what’s happened, but what we can learn from it. With my son, I don’t go back over the events that led us here, and I don’t need to remind him of his very real consequences – they impact his daily life already – but what I do strive for is that he knows none of this changes my love for him and my acceptance of him. Oh how I wish I could shield him from those who have chosen not to love and accept him. Or those that say they care for him but cast him into the “leper colony” of life (seemingly saying, “we love you, but only at a distance”). But Christ said to the apostles, “…Preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. (Matthew 10:7 NIV)” Jesus didn’t hang out with the religious leaders of the day, he hung out at the homes of tax collectors, lepers and sinners.
I guess if I were really honest, I would have to say that I can be pretty judgmental myself…especially before entering this season of my family’s life. And, I guess I am being judgmental even now as I write this and consider those who disparage my son. However, I have come to learn that things are not always as they seem. What we may characterize as “bad” or “ugly” or “undesirable”, Jesus may characterize as “lost” or “hurting” or “in need of grace”. I have come to a place where I pray daily, often minute-by-minute, for my lost child, and others like him. But I know that the Lord does not want any to perish, but all to come to repentance. And He will rejoice with me when my “prodigal” son “comes home”. Indeed, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over the righteous who do not need to repent (Luke 15:7).
I have often prayed for God to break my heart with the things that break His. I had no idea what the answer to that prayer would be. I would not have chosen this situation to be what “broke my heart”, and it has been difficult for my husband and I to come to terms with it, but it has drawn me closer to God. It has further softened my heart toward my son, especially when he’s being “difficult”. It has pointed out where I have been prideful and even arrogant. It has led me to examine my life to see if it’s truly in line with God’s will (and I am finding where it is not). It has pointed out the weaknesses in our family as it has magnified the stress fractures that threaten to crack us wide open. It gives me an opportunity to Rock-bolt things back in place (with Christ, the Rock). It has also given me a new perspective for other not-perfect Christians and non-Christians alike. I will embrace this situation, and I will continue to learn from it. And God will use it for good, as He said He would. I pray He uses it to speak to others as well…
Oh, and it would be completely unfair and wrong of me to say all this and then neglect to mention how many others have come alongside our family and my son and shown us love and grace and concern. My church family at Red Rocks Church, my sister-in-law, our parents, my direct supervisor, our counselor, and others have been so gracious and good to us. They have been Christ’s hands and feet in this situation. If any of you are reading this…thank you, and we love you!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
The Gift
I realize that while I carried my children in my womb, and went through quite a bit of pain to bring them into the world, and though they were immediately placed in my arms at their arrival, in all actuality my children were never really "mine". They are "a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him" (Psalm 127:3 NLT). And then we are called to give them back to the Lord, as Hannah did in 1 Samuel (see my previous post).
But what do you do when your children don’t feel like "a gift" or “a reward”? What happens when your heart is burdened and broken, and you cry out to the Lord, "what do I do with this child?!?"
My husband Kriss and I are walking through a difficult valley with our 15 year old. While we've been concerned for some time, the things we have learned in the last month have grief-stricken us. The path he has chosen, and the consequences of his choices, are very real, and very devastating. As we muddle through the uncharted waters we find ourselves in, oftentimes we feel completely inadequate with how to respond, what to do, and even what to pray for. There are times when all I can do is simply pray the name of the Lord, saying "Jesus...Jesus..." I thank God that He knows my heart, and the words that I cannot form, He already knows.
One thing that also continually comforts me is that God loves my son even more than I do. As a mom, that is almost unfathomable. Can you imagine anyone loving your child more than you? But when I consider the brutal sacrifice made on a cross for my son (and for all of us), I can start to understand. And I am grateful, because I know my son’s pain is probably greater than my own. I can’t imagine being a teenager in today’s world. I remember my confusion, my questions, my doubts, my fears, and my longings to belong. Since he’s not inclined to tell us, I can only imagine how much greater my son’s burdens are. I must admit, however, there are times I’m not focused on my son’s pain, I am focused on my own. Even worse, I’m not focused on what Christ is doing is our lives, I’m living as if it’s “all about me”. I become wrapped up in grief, turmoil, stress, and exhaustion. At the end of the day I’m pretty good at laying my burdens at the foot the cross, but come morning, I pick them back up again and walk out of the house carrying them with me. Sometime during the day, I’ll realize the load I’m carrying, and I’ll lay them down again. But, at some point later, even without realizing it, I find myself lugging my baggage around with me again.
Some days are better than others. I always laugh at the well-known prayer, “Dear Lord, so far I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that. But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help. (Author Unknown)” I think I’m going to rewrite that one with a spin on packing our bags and carrying them around with us. What we need to do instead is go on vacation with God, unpack the bags and stay with Him a while. That’s so easy do while we’re still cozy and snug in our “bed” (when things are good). It’s a lot harder once the alarm clock of life goes off before we’re ready, and our bare feet hit the cold tile floor, and we have a day filled with unknowns. But we must remember God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us. At what must have been a dark time in Moses’ life, as he wandered around in the wilderness, and he learned he would not be able to enter the promised land, Moses said to the people of Israel, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” This theme is repeated several times, including in Hebrews 13:5, “…because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” Praise God for His faithfulness.
So once again I lay my burdens at the foot of the cross. And tomorrow (or actually later this morning…I’m not getting a lot of sleep these days), I will wake up and chose to leave them there. I will leave my bags unpacked and walk out into the day the Lord has made. And no matter what may come…and there have been many unpleasant surprises lately…I will chose to keep my eyes focused on Him. Through His eyes, I will truly be able to recognize His gifts. My children, no matter the circumstances, are among the greatest gifts I have ever received. Thank God I am able to see them through His eyes. May they see Him through mine.
Blessings to you until next time.
But what do you do when your children don’t feel like "a gift" or “a reward”? What happens when your heart is burdened and broken, and you cry out to the Lord, "what do I do with this child?!?"
My husband Kriss and I are walking through a difficult valley with our 15 year old. While we've been concerned for some time, the things we have learned in the last month have grief-stricken us. The path he has chosen, and the consequences of his choices, are very real, and very devastating. As we muddle through the uncharted waters we find ourselves in, oftentimes we feel completely inadequate with how to respond, what to do, and even what to pray for. There are times when all I can do is simply pray the name of the Lord, saying "Jesus...Jesus..." I thank God that He knows my heart, and the words that I cannot form, He already knows.
One thing that also continually comforts me is that God loves my son even more than I do. As a mom, that is almost unfathomable. Can you imagine anyone loving your child more than you? But when I consider the brutal sacrifice made on a cross for my son (and for all of us), I can start to understand. And I am grateful, because I know my son’s pain is probably greater than my own. I can’t imagine being a teenager in today’s world. I remember my confusion, my questions, my doubts, my fears, and my longings to belong. Since he’s not inclined to tell us, I can only imagine how much greater my son’s burdens are. I must admit, however, there are times I’m not focused on my son’s pain, I am focused on my own. Even worse, I’m not focused on what Christ is doing is our lives, I’m living as if it’s “all about me”. I become wrapped up in grief, turmoil, stress, and exhaustion. At the end of the day I’m pretty good at laying my burdens at the foot the cross, but come morning, I pick them back up again and walk out of the house carrying them with me. Sometime during the day, I’ll realize the load I’m carrying, and I’ll lay them down again. But, at some point later, even without realizing it, I find myself lugging my baggage around with me again.
Some days are better than others. I always laugh at the well-known prayer, “Dear Lord, so far I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that. But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help. (Author Unknown)” I think I’m going to rewrite that one with a spin on packing our bags and carrying them around with us. What we need to do instead is go on vacation with God, unpack the bags and stay with Him a while. That’s so easy do while we’re still cozy and snug in our “bed” (when things are good). It’s a lot harder once the alarm clock of life goes off before we’re ready, and our bare feet hit the cold tile floor, and we have a day filled with unknowns. But we must remember God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us. At what must have been a dark time in Moses’ life, as he wandered around in the wilderness, and he learned he would not be able to enter the promised land, Moses said to the people of Israel, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” This theme is repeated several times, including in Hebrews 13:5, “…because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” Praise God for His faithfulness.
So once again I lay my burdens at the foot of the cross. And tomorrow (or actually later this morning…I’m not getting a lot of sleep these days), I will wake up and chose to leave them there. I will leave my bags unpacked and walk out into the day the Lord has made. And no matter what may come…and there have been many unpleasant surprises lately…I will chose to keep my eyes focused on Him. Through His eyes, I will truly be able to recognize His gifts. My children, no matter the circumstances, are among the greatest gifts I have ever received. Thank God I am able to see them through His eyes. May they see Him through mine.
Blessings to you until next time.
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